Forget what you feel. Remember what you deserve.
Forget what you feel. Remember what you deserve.
There aren’t many things in my life I can say are mediocre. And as I get older, I realize that I have to search for mediocrity because no one associates small things as the grandest gestures these days. I am finding myself craving the taste of people’s greatest avoidance: the in-between, the limbo, the not-good-enough, the less than 100%’s of my feelings and my destinations. But why do we look down on that idea? I’m a young woman with amazing and colorful dreams that I will achieve, but it doesn’t at all mean I won’t allow myself find comfort and pure joy in the pumpkins among the velvet cushions.
Just like those stories every now and then, we feel dissatisfied about the ending. Or we speak passionately about how we would re-write it. Without ever thinking about the idea of the author choosing to end the beautiful tale blandly just so our imaginations can savor the glory of meaning and connection.
I hope I never stop loving the bites of fruits in my everydays —even when they are not yet ripe.
To be strong is to let the heart grieve momentarily. I’ve said my goodbyes..they never quite seem to end. And for almost half of them, I already know it’s an incomplete farewell. My summer has been peaceful enough..despite the roadblocks and detours. And I know I am happy. But more so, I’ve become humbled to know that I can no longer choose my goodbyes in every situation. Which is a gratifying feeling actually. The future has never felt so fresh. Letting go is a process that I’m willing to take the long and scenic route for.
"I am inspired by the simplicity, efficiency and beauty of bicycles. The joy from riding a bicycle can be the most pure kind: saying hello to your neighbor; feeling the strength of your body propelling you forward; being able to give directions to the nearest fruit tree in season. For me, riding bikes isn’t a sport – it’s a lifestyle. Becoming a cyclist has been the most empowering decision I have ever made, not only because it allowed me a physical sense of independence, but also because it led me to my current path as a small business owner." — Marina
a love that is cherished for its beauty, its instincts, its madness, its serenity, its truth
I had a revelation about all of you yesterday. Coincidentally, it happened to be the day of Zero Year Reunion: where our class of 2014 Gaels got to mingle the night away until the bar ran out of alcohol and we all gradually found arrangements to the infamous Round Up afterwards. I love that SMC brought me so many friendships through my new experiences. It’s an irreplaceable fuzziness in my heart that tingles when I got to hug everyone and meant it when I said thank you to all of them for the tiny and grand things we shared. I realized that college actually prepares you for the real world. As we grasp at opportunities to define our own successes I’m glad I can let go of friendships without letting go of individual people whom I value, respect and some that I trust. At the risk of sounding like I’m claiming these 4..3..2..1.. or even semester long friendships are superficial, I believe that people move into our lives, maybe even settle in/sublease a part of you for a given time, and then they leave..and as we get older, we become so much more okay with it because that freedom surpasses strings of obligations in a way that matures us. Yeah, so I give my heart away to lots and lots of good people. But that doesn’t keep me bound to them, and I think people underestimate how much of my heart is leftover to keep me loving and kind, in ways I always hope to be.
There’s a tree at the Legacy Garden at SMC. Apparently, it grows berries that taste like JuicyFruit gum when they’re ripe. Usually, one would prune a tree to keep the fruit growing. But for this tree, in order to keep it alive, you literally have to BREAK the tree branches off individually. Then the goodness is able to exist- after destruction, something sweet and unique grows. And it’s this everlasting cycle of growth and death and birth and growth..and it’s so beautiful that life works that way.
Truthfully, I do see the good in people whether or not they wear it openly and completely. Whether or not they own it, as indication of self-respect, I will always see the good. But never will I ever allow their negative influences to get the better of me. I have before, and that bitterness can really prevent the JuicyFruit tree from dying the way it needs to in order to re-invent itself. I am choosing to create more wings than walls, in my perspective of relationships. And I will never love less, only more.
It’s another me-morning. I really love my sunny window, shaded enough by my neighbors house allowing a breeze in during this warm day, next to my bed. I’m finally coming around, I can feel it as I smile softer and begin to wrap my grip around the residues of my heartbreak a little firmer. Knowing where to place it now is a satisfying freedom.